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I do not have commitment issues... I`ve been buying the same brand of vodka for 8 years!
Personally, I believe that around 93% of the world`s population should run with scissors.
Social media - keeping people away from each other since 2006.
When does hibernation start? Because I am 100% participating in that.
So.. who else is sleeping naked tonight?
A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
I keep hitting the escape key ... But I`m still here.
I just saw a poster that said, "Have you seen this man?" with a number to call ... So I called the number and told them, "no."
Don`t get excited girls. That bulge in my pants is just emergency Oreos.
If my calculations are right, by November of 2019 my uneven usage of conditioner will finally lap the shampoo and I will run out of both at the exact same time.
Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today.
If I ever post something on Social media sites that`s not funny or clever, That just means someone hacked my account, Just Saying!
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
What`s the hold up on making extremely heavy shoes for toddlers so they can`t run around so much?
Listen lady, if you stopped screaming maybe you would enjoy holding hands with me.