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Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
"Everyone give us money in case something happens and when something happens we`ll call you a liar." -insurance
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn`t hire stupid people......
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
Days are short in December but spending them with family really stretches them out.
Cant imagine the look on Obamas face when he saw `Olympus Has Fallen`..His next quote would have been.."No more Taiwans in the secret Elevetor office"
The secret to success is in my bra.
It`s not condescending if they`re stupid.
Today is national I don`t feel like doing sh!t today. Celebrate accordingly.
I Hope I can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember all the things I was suppose to do.
Roses are red, violets are blue, daisies are white, sunflowers are yellow. This florist has everything.
UFC is 10% fighting, and 90% advertising the next fight
It`s a good thing the gas station is open today...... I still have time to do my Christmas shopping.
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