Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
McDonald’s steps 1) Get really excited about it 2) Eat it 3) Regret eating it 4) Wish you were dead 5) Repeat in a few months
No matter how prepared you think you are, a retractable vacuum cord will always find the weakness in your defense.
Should have never gave my cat a lemon, now he’s walking around like a sour puss.
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
Man what a day. I pulled my groin...for like 20 minutes.
I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.
The fact that Pitbul is even considered a musician is more disgusting than the fact that toothpaste was invented years after french kissing was.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Give fat people a break. They have a lot on their plate.
I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it?
The only beachfront property I`ll ever be able to afford is a sandcastle.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else...
Where is the button to restart summer?