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if there wasnΒ΄t a last minute IΒ΄d never get anything done.
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is youβre wrong & Raphael isnβt the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.
Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,400 hours. Roughly the same as one Monday on earth feels.
Upside to hurricanes... you might get a free boat delivered to your front yard.
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
Diamonds are the hardest substance in the world ... to get back from a woman
I`m not sayin you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
When wearing a logo or clever t-shirt, make sure your rack looks good. No one likes reading stuff on a lumpy, wavy surface. You too, ladies.
I bet strippers look forward to that feeling of getting home and wearing a bra after a long day at work.
Nothing is more heartbreaking than unappreciated sarcasm!
I don`t take steroids because I never want to look like I`m capable of helping my friends move.
Guys, if she says she`s crazy, she`s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right.