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"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
Never trust a skinny chef
I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
I took out an ad for a girlfriend recently and 10 guys tried to give me theirs.
What is the difference between a Snow-man & a Snow-lady? Snowballs!
you know that awkward moment when you think someone`s talking to you so you reply to them and then they look over at you with that disgusted facial expression that says "wtf ..no"
I know it`s 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
I bought a Tempurpedic mattress so that I’ll have an excuse to go to sleep with a giant glass of wine every night.
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
Who ever invented the knock knock joke should get the no bell prize.
I lost my ladder when I was very young but I was fortunate to have such a great step-ladder to raise me ...anytime I couldn`t reach anything
Back before Walmart, you used to have to buy a ticket to see a bearded woman.
My girlfriend wanted me to come shopping, but I had a headache... I must have caught it from her last night when we didn`t have sex.
If you like to spoon, you`ll love to spatula. That`s where I flip you over to make certain you`re done properly on both sides.