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The brain is like the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
The best neighbors are the ones you never see.
OK. So I danced like no one was watching. Anyone know a good lawyer?
I would exercise, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
It`s been scientifically proven that originally there were only five fruit cakes ever made!
I overheard this guy bragging about his fancy hotel sweet. Ptttsht. They are nothing but cheap a$$ mints!
11th Commandment: Thou shall not gossip about other people’s lives when you are not doing any better yourself.
You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
My winter wardrobe consists of my summer clothes layered on top of one and other.
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
The best part of my divorce was how I woke up and I hadn`t done anything wrong
In my will, I´m giving $50 to anyone who wears a Scream costume to my funeral and doesn´t say a word.
St Patricks Day, when you can eat lucky charms dowsed in beer and everyone thinks..great idea!
Bacon has protein. Spinach has protein. Bacon is a vegetable.
That awkward moment when your trapped in the corner of your shower because the hot water ran out.