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I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.
My boss hates "yes" men and I have to agree with him.
Texting totally changes your perception of how long stoplights are.
What`s worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.
So apparently RSVP`ing back to a wedding invite `maybe next time` isn`t the correct response
A massage is just professional petting for humans.
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate.
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything.
All my life I’ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
"I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
I started drinking a little early. Yesterday, to be more precise.
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg and some days you`re that guy who hit the propeller on the way down.
There`s actually a website designed to simulate what it`s like to be the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, it`s called MySpace.