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That mini heart attack you get when the parked car next to you moves and you think you’re moving.
That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don`t know whose side I`m on.
Why doesn’t The Rock just tell us what he’s cooking? I can’t pair wines like this.
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I`m sexy!" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
Pretty proud of myself, I got a lot of procrastinating done today
Tony Romo tried to throw his helmet down in frustration but it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown
I like to start my morning off with a good nap.
My wife’s cooking brings a whole new meaning to.. eat sh!t and die.
You make me feel "I`m-typing-this-with-my-middle-finger" angry.
I`ll never fall in love untill and unless love falls on me!
I`d totally order a salad bar. If it had lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ketchup, mustard, hamburger and buns.
“Make it rain” is the only appropriate response when asked if you want freshly grated parmesan.
You know that button in the elevator with the fireman´s hat on it... turns out that is not the button you press to get a fireman´s hat.