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I don`t really care who wins the elections as long as everyone had fun out there.
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
I`m giving up abbreviations for Lent. Laugh Out Loud
"I don`t trust you to not buy drugs" -people who give gift cards
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life
"Goodbye, everyone. I`ll remember you all in therapy." -Me, leaving a family reunion.
I need a "previously on your life" recap for the things I didn`t pay attention to.
Preheating an oven requires too much commitment.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
Hell, I finally figured out what was wrong with me ... I have been reading the wrong horoscope!!
My package finally came today. this is awesome....it means I have bubble wrap to play with
Is bloodletting still in use today? Just thinking...I know a couple of people here that may be in need of some bloodletting
i wasnt that drunk * "bro, you destroyed my mothers garden while screaming F*CK FARMVILLE!"*
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
To any ex-military that live on my street I apologize for whatever messages we may be sending, 2yo has discovered light switches