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Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...
I`m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
My life is just one long improvisation.
I just caught my husband smiling in his sleep. He`s going to pay for that later.
Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don`t know how to play chess.
I`m having trouble telling if it`s killing me or making me stronger
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
One things for sure, I can always count on my fingers.
is bored of being bored because being bored is boring.
Ladies and Gentleman, I’ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There’s never enough beer.
Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
"I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
Curling irons have a warning tag that says “For External Use Only.” Which of you sick mofos made that necessary?