Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
Dang I didn`t make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row
I live in fear that one day the real "World`s Greatest Dad" is going to show up to reclaim his rightful mug.
I`m not lying, I`m just making the story better.
I put my head between my legs and lean forward.....thats how I roll
I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don`t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
Maybe my mom was right all those years ago. Maybe I won`t be happy until someone loses an eye. Maybe that`s what`s been missing.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them…
Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at age 60 than age 6.
Whenever I receive a text saying bahaha, I like to believe you are a sheep on drugs.
Building the city on rock and roll was probably the wrong move from an engineering perspective.
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page