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I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
Thank God! the women with 3 boobs was a hoax... I just couldn`t wrap my hands around it....
Making an effort in the last of 2014 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone.
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
I bet the first person that heard a parrot talk really lost their sh!t.
Wanna come over for pizza and sex? I`m just kidding ... there`s no pizza.
If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
I couldn`t be on a reality show because I wouldn`t want my mom to see how many times I make the jerk-off motion when we talk on the phone
My mother said, "You won`t amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."
"We attack at dawn!" - Hangovers
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
Sarcasm: because beating the sh!t out of people is illegal.
Before Walmart you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded lady!