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Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
Sadly, the opposite sex is ignoring me like a check engine light.
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
If you could have all of Bill Gates` money or world peace, what colour would your Lamborghini be?
My greatest fear is standing on stage in front of millions while my Google search history is read aloud...
I think I really have an amazing butt. Every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say "what an ass.."
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn`t know it was even possible to be this jealous.
Humans pretend to be smart, but we still look at the ceiling when we hear a noise upstairs like we just developed x-ray vision.
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
No horror movie can surpass the sensation of touching your pockets and not feeling your cell phone.
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.
Dear wind, what has my hair ever done to you?