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cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
I asked my mom for money and she said "Does it look like I am made of money?" I said "Well isn`t that what M.O.M stands for?"
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
I saw something that reminded me of you.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(:
I SOOOOO wanted Kim and Kayne to name their daughter Wild Wild...
So many people are making history right now. but me, I`m deleting history from my browser.
I may be delusional but at least I`m going to Mars in November.
Whenever someone says to me “Things could be worse” I punch them in the face and say “Like that?”
I have a lot on my plate right now. Not busy, just hungry.
The pollen is so bad this year that the trailer park people are changing crystal meth back into Sudafed.
To a musician, a g-string means something completely different than it does to me. .
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you`re standing outside watching your house burn.
Being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible
My "Kiss me, I`m Irish" shirt only seems to be working on my dog.