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Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
When I want to trim down my friend`s Facebook list I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
Don`t hate me because I think I`m beautiful.
Apparently when my math teacher asked `what comes after 69` "I DO" was not the correct answer.
You know you are old when your birthday suit doesn`t fit anymore.
To get laid is good. To get off is good. To get laid off is bad.
If Eve sacraficed the whole human race for Apple, I wonder what she would have done for a Klondike Bar?
When the sign says: DO NOT TOUCH I read: Touch when nobody is looking.
Life is not fair. But life is not fair for everyone, which actually makes it fair.
It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. Then I`m back. Me, explaining a vacation to my cat.
Beer doesn’t have that many vitamins in it…that’s why you have to drink a lot.
No Shirt No Shoes No Service. What about pants?
Want to watch a nerd have a melt down? Tell him that you just bought an Android Ipad.
They need to put more spider poison in hairspray.