Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
**TORNADO WARNING** Everyone head to Giants Stadium. Safest place to avoid a touch down.
OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog.
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
I`m not lazy, I`m in energy saving mode.
I checked my calendar, and I won`t give a f*ck tomorrow either.
A buddy gave me some of his pee in a jar so I could pass a drug screen. I failed, which is weird, cause I drank ALL of it.
Does Facebook have a “You’re not smart enough to be talking about politics” button?
Wishing a happy unbirthday to everybody who`s birthday isn`t today.
Having sex is like doing FRACTIONS... It`s IMPROPER for the larger one to be on top.
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
Being clean and sober means i’ve showered and am heading to the liquor store.
This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.
I wish "You idiot" was an appropriate way to end a work email.
Alcohol may not be able to give you a loving hug when you need it but the Liquor Mart employee`s you`re buying it off of sure can.