Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?Āæ
My New Years Resolution is to be less vain. It`s going to be difficult though, considering how sexy I am.
Iām giving co-workers the silent treatment by sending them blank emails.
My neck, my back. My pizza and my snacks.
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn`t doing his part of the chores around here
I`m for driverless cars, but honestly, having to drive is the only thing standing in the way of me being a complete drunk piece of sh!t 24/7
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
I`m just going to start wearing a shirt to work that says "I`m good, thanks for asking."
I get as much action as a white crayon.
have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?
If anyone ever steals my identity, I hope they show it a good time. Take it skydiving. We`ve always wanted to go skydiving.
If you smell Axe body spray on your lawyer,, you`re going to jail.
"There are singles in your area." - me telling a stripper she forgot some money on the floor
Rapunzel is my favorite fairy tale about a woman who finds happiness when a man pulls her hair.
Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you`re getting ready to take hostages.