Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Texting "Good Morning, Beautiful" will change a girl`s whole day. If you time it right, it will do the same for her boyfriend.
I have to be careful what I say online because my kids might find out how cool I am and want to start hanging out with me.
Behind every strong woman is a man that she needs to open jars and get things off high shelves.
Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.
Whenever a little kid asks me to push him on the swing I remind him there are children his age in China making iPhones.
Anyone else ever thought about farting into one of those plastic cylinders at the bank drive-thru?
I would watch NASCAR if it was more like Mario Kart.
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
My girlfriend told me that I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman ... What a Joker...
When I`m at the mall, I carry a purse around so people think I have a girlfriend.
You should have seen the guy who unlocked the liquor store this morning. It was like he never saw anyone roll up a sleeping bag before.
A hot woman telling me about her boyfriend is like setting money on fire in front of a homeless person.
There I was, watching a advertisement when a YouTube video rudely interrupts it...
Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones