Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sandals or shoes? I have adorable toes. All 12
You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like being drunk.
When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone’s numbers again, I text them: “Guess who?” for 2 weeks.
There`s no law against twerking...but apparently it`s still frowned upon during jury duty.
How to cure a headache: 1. Drink a glass of water. 2. Take 10 deep breathes. 3. Give headache your credit card & tell her to go to the mall.
Any fool can use a computer ... Many do
Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
A group hug in my family means someone wants to use you as a napkin.
Nice try, self-checkout lane. There`s not even any mirrors.
I like to start my day by taking a shower, having some coffee and going online for 14-16 hours.
Love is like a Hot Pocket: If you rush into it, you`re bound to get burned
There are 2 kinds of coworkers. The ones who keep iPhone 5 chargers at their desks and the ones whose names I don`t know.