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Why is there a show called “When animals attack”? It should be called “When stupid people go near dangerous animals.”
Why am I single? Answer me. . . ANSWER ME YOU STUPID CATS!!!
Why would you pay $80 for a bra at Victoria’s Secret when I can hold your boobs up all day for free.
Bless me Father for I hit send.
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it`s the duct tape of food.
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
Ebay is really getting worse and worse to use. Yesterday I searched for a cigarette lighter. I got 3,974, 601 matches...
I`m not crazy, but I am a carrier.
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Clearly skinny jeans are easier to obtain than skinny genes
I`ll never fall in love untill and unless love falls on me!
I swear July only lasted like 3 minutes
My wife asks me to remind her about stuff. That way if she forgets something, it`s my fault.