Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
I just got the results of my IQ test. It came back negative.
My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he`s just a lamp so what does he really know anyway
Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...
I knew I`d be a great parent. Kids aren`t nearly as difficult to take care of as my drunk friends.
Dear Mother Nature, I would like to cancel my monthly subscription please… Urs Sincerely, 100% OF ALL WOMEN IN THE WORLD!
Its not you, it`s how you don`t make me sandwiches.
You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.
exercise........you mean extra fries
My love is like a candle, If you forget about me, I`ll burn your frikin house down!
This year rather than candy for your valentine why not liquor instead.
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
Everyone picks their nose at some point, it`s what you choose to do next that defines who you are as a person.
Being a woman should count as a pre-existing mental condition.
LIFE HACK: Sneak into doctor`s waiting rooms instead of subscribing to magazines.