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You can learn a lot about a girl by ignoring her text messages.
It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling.
Amazon’s recommendations are like that friend who heard you say “ninja” once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change.
How come "you`re a peach" is a complement but "you`re bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
The best thing about being single is all the sleeping around you can do…I can sleep all over my bed!
My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy.
I really worry about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
everyone is BEAUTIFUL in there own way--your just to UGLY to see that
Here`s a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you`re horny, but can`t stand to look at each other !
Never underestimate the power of cleavage.
The early bird gets the worm! So does the late bird. They all get worms all the time; there`s tons of those things. Relax, there will always be a lota worms......