Daily Silly Status

"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat

I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!

If you put root beer in a square cup, do you get beer?……………………. (you smart people grinned didn’t you.)

When I see people drinking at 11 am on a Friday I`m like, where do you work and are they hiring?

I couldn’t believe it yesterday, when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn’t actually mine. She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school…

I`m worried that my guardian angel is a crack head.

My life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.

My wife is a perfectionist but she made an exception in my case.

My New Years Resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic...I wonder how long this bull$hit fantasy will last.

Internet went down so I had to spend time with my family. They seem like good people.

The Three Up`s in life: 1. Show 2. Keep 3. Shut

My neighbors listen to AC/DC at 6:00 every morning. Whether they like it or not...

You know it’s a really good bar when there’s a couple outside breaking up.

Girls are supposed to dance. That`s why god gave them parts that jiggle.

I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. I’m feeling pretty awesome!!