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You should probably first master the art of thinking “inside” the box
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
Imagine how bad it would be if everyone could hear what you were thinking.
Sorry, I`m in a hurry, lets talk while we walk... You go that way.
The neighbor`s cat seems to think my flower bed is his litter box. I`ll fix that furry little bugger. I mixed 44 packages of pop rocks into the soil. And now we wait....
Same sex marriage? Heck, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage
A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else`s, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat.
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
Congrats on winning an argument with your woman...... Your prize is a night on the couch.
I get a real kick out of people who drive a mile in their car to run a mile on a treadmill.
I`d like to thank Tetris for making me really good at loading my dishwasher.
I don`t even think it`s possible for a bear to cook porridge.
you know hes a keeper when you know his facebook login and password!
*calling pizza place* "Hello?" Your pizza tastes like cardboard "Are you sure you`re not eating the box again?" *long pause* *click*
Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm the f*ck down. -Bfanch