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I feel like being that guy that gets upset when people use the term "straight A`s". "Fabulously flawless A`s" sounds much better.
They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
Don`t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
Wine doesn`t have many vitamins. That`s why you have to drink a lot of it.
thinks that decaffeinated coffee is just useless brown water.
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
God made men. But sandwiches weren`t going to make themselves. So God made women.
To the woman with six screaming kids in Walmart, if you wonder how those condoms got in your cart, you’re welcome.
Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
I`ll see your fun outdoor activity and raise you a nap.
Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?
Inspiration: nobody else knows what the hell they’re doing either.
Spoiler Alert: Ladies, if your guy friend gets you a teddy bear, it has a Camera in it.