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I`ve spent my whole life trying to find a girl with a psychiatric disorder that makes her think she`s a woodpecker.
Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I`d go to hell for.
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
Q.Teacher: why do we drink water? A. Learner : Because we cant eat it!
Smile, it´s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I`m at the facebook saloon, drinking all night long
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
I can`t possibly f*ck up the entire universe, so that`s a relief.
When you turn 21, you can legally do all the things you`ve been doing since you were 15.
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Dude, I see you are enjoying a cold Bud Light Lime-a-Rita .... I`m going to assume that`s your smart car parked outside.
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.