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"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.
If your lawyer has a ponytail, you`re going to jail
I’m not so much goofing off as impersonating upper management.
Why can’t I lose weight easily I mean I lose everything else without a problem.
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
They told me to never give up. Now they call me a stalker.
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No, whenever there`s trouble, YOU always seem to be around ... officer.
There is no one more trustworthy than Clark Kent`s dry cleaner.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
The grass is always greener where the bodies are buried.
My bed is half full - Lonely optimist.
I`m using voice-to-text to post this status. All I do is talk and it makes a text out of it. It`s really cool... Hey! What are you doing? That`s my phone! Give it back! Come back here, you son of a...
Exactly when in American history did Americans stop having British accents?