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Screw it, I’m starting Friday now.
I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
I was all "I`m not taking any sh!t from you" and she was all "to speak to a member of our customer service team, press 1".
If it rains on a dream catcher, does that make it a wet dream catcher?
Everything in earthquake-prone areas should be built on top of a giant Tempurpedic mattress.
Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." – Children
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
I go out all day looking good and saw no one I know. I go out for 5 minutes looking like sh!t and it`s all of the sudden a f*cking reunion.
Nobody looks back on their life and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep.
You know it`s a really good bar when there`s a couple outside breaking up.