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I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
If it rains on a dream catcher, does that make it a wet dream catcher?
Being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
People saying "Laugh my a$$ off" and still having an a$$ next time I see them is the reason I have trust issues.
Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet thanks to you
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
You don`t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
Divorce: Step 1: She throws all your sh!t in the street Step 2: The judge says you have to give it all back to her.
Instead of sending people to jail, we should just make them eat the stringy things off bananas..
Well, it`s easy to tell I`m single. It`s Saturday night and I`m at home updating my facebook status...
is running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
If there is such thing as a fake noodle, does that make it an impasta?
The only reason any of us can spell laboratory is because of Dexter.
There better be strippers & beer at my intervention because there is no way in hell I`m sitting through that sober.
My Son: The marriage vows say "tell death do us part", so we are not married in heaven ? Me: That`s right son, cause if we were still married, we`d be in hell.