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At this point I`m guessing the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they completely lost their minds
Watching movies alone sucks. There´s no one to ask, "What did he just say? Who is that guy?"
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
When my wife picks a restaraunt that I don’t like, I just say “oh yeah, that’s where that really cute girl works”. Problem solved.
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
Some days your the duck. Some days your the goose.
No thanks, marriage. If I wanted to stop getting laid I would just start wearing crocs.
Farting isn`t ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
My motto is "Never say never." Which makes it difficult to tell people my motto...
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness".
I just broke a light bulb. Damn, is that 7 years of bad ideas.
I don’t let my friends do stupid things… ALONE!
Apparently, playing dead only works on bears not ex boyfriends.