Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I won the lottery, I could make a whole lotta people miserable
I tend to say “I don’t know” when I’m too lazy to think.
People always get so excited about the next generation iPhone but no one has caught up with the awesome technology that`s called a Turn Signal.
Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man.
I had been dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone! :O
If I could have anything in the world it would be to have the same finger prints as my enemy
I’d get a lot more sleep if I didn’t insist on reading the entire internet every night.
My Boss requested me on facebook. I was like "pssst". If only he knew all the sh*t I post about his ugly @$$.
The leading cause of divorce ? ... marriage
The longer I`m left unattended in the Drs office the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar..... Just sayin
When I was a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
I don’t know how many girls it takes to change a lightbulb but I guarantee you they’d post pictures of them doing it on Facebook.
If you want to bribe me food and beer works.