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If I like you, I’ll let you hold the TV remote when we watch TV. If I love you, I won’t take the batteries out of it beforehand.
The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
*accidentally answers phone call* ... *pretends to be answering machine*
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
We should`ve let the guy who named oranges keep naming other stuff.
No one needs a vacation from me more than me.
The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.
Maybe it`s inappropriate for the first date but if there`s a maze on the menu I`m asking for crayons.
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." – Children
I remember 2012 like it was yesterday.
Home is where a man hangs his hat. Unless that man is wearing a sun visor. Then he probably dosent have a home or friends..
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
By the time I’ve said “Nice to meet you” I’ve already forgotten your name.
I ordered myself an Eastern European bride online. SO EXCITED. Just received confirmation… My Czech is in the mail!
You want me to smile? How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren`t getting enough fiber?