Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What is it about paper towels that makes me always want to use more than one?
"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
I saw that! - Karma
Sometimes it would be nice if the world had an off switch.
I walked into SeaWorld with a fishing pole once. I gotta tell ya, those security guards can really run.
Sometimes I feel that I need someone special to complete me, but then I have a pizza and I`m like, "Nope. I`m good."
The grass is always greener over the septic tank
My inner child has a bottle of vodka in one hand, a whip in the other and a broken halo sticking out of her back pocket.
Sometime when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
Going to a bar where "everybody knows your name" sounds terrifying.
I will stop loving you, when Spongebob gets his driving license.
Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends
Current relationship status: Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.
Have you ever loved someone so much deep in your heart, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping.
I googled "cigarette lighter" and got 150000 matches.