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If someone is uncomfortable watching you masturbate they; A. Have intimacy issues B. Are frigid C. Should sit somewhere else on the bus
If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
Marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops.
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
I hate when its dark and my brain is like “Hey you know what we haven’t thought of in a while?” Monsters.
I Wonder what Facebook Employees do to waste time at work ?
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
Last night I had this awesome dream, where I fought this huge fat ninja and knocked him out with my super power punch. I`d tell you more but I have to take my wife to the doctor. She has this mysterious black eye.
It’s funny how people get mad when you treat them the same way they treat you.
Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn’t be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn’t waste thousands of them in the `80s throwing them at Mario.
The relationship was going so well until I left my phone unlocked.
Apparently saying, "You mad, bro?" is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
In honor of this years` Super Bowl participants respective States of residence, they`ve changed kickoff to 4:20 Eastern Standard time.
You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn`t? ... Yeah, I don`t have one of those.