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Does this status update make me look fat?
Any of you girls wanna come over tonight for pizza and sex? ... I`m just kidding. There`s no pizza.
3yo just yelled "face-five!" & slapped his brother in the face. I`m totally using that at work tomorrow.
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you.
Saying the word "awkward" in an awkward situation only makes it more awkward. Especially if you sing it.
I often wonder how things worked out for that guy who grabbed the bull by the horns.
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
Helping my kid study for her geology exam, and apparently `hard` `classic` and `punk` are not the 3 different types of rock.
2013 is the first year since 1987 to have 4 different numbers… carry on.
I wonder who was the first person to see an egg come out of a chicken`s booty and think..."I`m gonna eat that!"
Christmas time always make me blue :-(( and then red, then green, then oh wow.. presents...
I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I`m certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.
Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.
Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?