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Had a big mix up at the store today... Apparently, when the woman said strip down facing me,she was referring to my credit card.
According to Tetley the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag so i slap her arse and shout "cup ot tea fatty"
I wish, just once, I could actually hit the pedestrian crossing the road slow with the "what`re gonna do, hit me" look on their face.
The universe contains protons,neutrons,electrons and morons.
You should probably first master the art of thinking “inside” the box
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
I need to get out of bed and do something so I can justify taking a nap later.
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
You know it’s a really good bar when there’s a couple outside breaking up.
It’s a status….not your diary…
New diet plan: murder all the skinny people.
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(:
President Donald Trump will sign an executive order tomorrow to bring back Pluto as a planet. Make the universe GREAT again.
Why is "Pissed" an expression of being upset? I`ve never been so mad that I pee`d myself.