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Somedays I could do without the life lesson
Clearly the people that design refrigerators don`t know me if they think one tiny cheese drawer and two giant vegetable drawers is the way to go.
Money can`t buy happiness, but I`d rather cry in a Ferrari.
You actually have friends? Yeah bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.
Got this super hard game on my phone called Bank Of America. You only get a power up every 2 weeks? Need cheat codes
When I`m at the mall, I carry a purse around so people think I have a girlfriend.
The only thing actually impossible in life is taking a picture for a group of women and having ALL of them like it.
When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers.
Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile with my shoes….shoved up your a$$.
I`ve seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad.
These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee`s, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!
Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis
Wow....turns out I`m NOT a Ninja. That really hurt.
roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs
I won employee of the month!!!…. again! I love being self employed.