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“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
My job blocked the Favstar website and I`m not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I`m totally taking hostages.
If Apple made a car, would it have windows?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I`ll decide whether it`s a compliment or sexual harassment.
Ways to die: Steal my food.
Roasting marshmallows is great because it combines dessert and playing with fire.
I don`t always get to drink free beer... But I just happen to know my neighbor went to the night shift, and I saw him filling his fridge today.
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
I am not retreating! I am advancing in a different direction!
I would of read and liked your status if it wasn`t like 3 pages long.
A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting.
When I say I can cook, I mean I can melt cheese on stuff.
Sneezing when you pee is only recommended when you`re in a public toilet.