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In Store Special - "You`re My One and Only" Valentine`s Day cards... 4 for $5...
My credit rating is so bad I got turned down for a magazine subscription.
I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
There`s a special place in hell reserved for the guy that decided what time McDonalds beakfast ends.
Just once, I`d like to see an honest Facebook status, like "happy birthday to my average-looking, sort of friend, Amanda!"
Ohh sh!t, my b!tch button is stuck.
When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
The best thing about smartphones is that you don`t have to refold maps anymore.
Why do they even offer 2014 as an option when selecting your birth date? Like you’re fresh out of the womb ready to join Gmail.
Very little scares me. So does very big.
If my jokes offend you: 1. I’m sorry. 2. It won’t happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. 4. You’re a wussy.
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
It`s always the rednecks that know all the inner most conspiracies of the government.