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I`m allergic to stupidity ... which is why I break out in to sarcasm.
Peyton Manning saw his shadow this morning...that means six more weeks of bad Papa Johns commercials.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
Hmmmm what should I buy myself for Valentines day.
Congrats on your secret admirer! Must be nice having someone who’s ashamed to admit they like you!
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone`s ok with that.
I only seem to remember I want to lose weight after eating 6 cookies.
The worst about the weekend?? The ending part.
Don`t ya wish you could hold people up to the light like a $20 bill to tell if they`re fake or real?
If at first you don`t succeed...Do it the way your wife told you to. ;)
There would be a lot less people willing to run for public office if the losers were required to pick up all the lawn signs afterwards.
Today is National Fritters Day. I don`t know what that means, so I just went naked today. Gotta be something like that.
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
Some people say I`m a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again you`re fired"
Why does the person who snores always fall asleep first?