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I hate grocery shopping. That`s why I just steal a full cart when somebody turns away. I never know what I`m getting, but it sure is faster.
According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
Can you imagine if Facebook just decided to shut down and you see all these confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun/
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
You don’t look like 200 likes in person.
Does eating a gas station hot dog counts as a suicide attempt.
When I`m in a bathroom stall, please don`t yell "Oh my God oh my God there`s a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
I don`t burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little bit each day.
Ever look in a mirror wondering about the stranger staring back & then realize it`s your neighbor`s window and they`re calling the cops?
"I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? `cause I smell carrots..." ~ Snowmen.
Some days are better than others. And those days always involve alcohol.
Hangry: (noun) a state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation -- Feed me or I`ll kill you.
I pulled my wife`s panties to the side.......then put the rest of her socks in the drawer.