Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Anyone who says "Let`s all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
Please don`t wear skinny jeans if you don`t have skinny genes.
If you think you’ve hit rock bottom, the only thing that can cheer you up is bringing somebody else down with you.
The responsibility of taking out the trash should be left to the person who runs out of ways to fit more trash in the bag.
When I`m in a good mood I act like I`m in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
I wish more of my handcuff stories involved sex instead of police officers.
Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to prevent me from savagely beating my coworkers with a keyboard.
Saying “do I smell popcorn ” right after you fart, so everyone takes in a deep breath.
This beer tastes like I’m going to text you later.
Inspirational status of the day: Don`t be a douche.
A cheap way to get Botox face is by walking your dog in zero degree temperature.
A normal person is just someone you don`t know well enough yet.
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
You say toilet, I say alcohol vomit receptacle.