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Ended a relationship today. Don`t worry, it wasn`t mine.
Haters gonna hate, your honor
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
I can come up with plenty of ways to do nothing.
I fail to understand the ‘good’ part of ‘good morning’
Why do they have “limited edition” scented candles? Are there crazy people collecting these things?
I don`t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
They keep telling me theres plenty of fish in the sea, but I havent caught one in years, soooo I continue to sit here, holding my rod.
According to this BMI chart ... I am to short.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
My roommate complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
If your online dating profile says "I don`t have sex on the first date" then that`s why you`re on a dating website.
Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
I think abs are for guys that don`t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.