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I still miss my ex. But my aim is gettin` better.
Oh you better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout I`m telling you why. Nobody gives a f*ck.
Your lights are on but I see someone’s been playing with your dimmer switch.
If this world got any smaller I`d probably fall off - George T. Ignace
My life`s paradox: I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
"I guess you`re right." - No one on the internet ever
Someone told me I`m immature and need to grow up. Guess who`s not allowed in my treehouse now.
Hey! Did any of you see my........ Oh ! Never mind... :D How much of you said that before? heee heee hee!
I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................
Is it just me, or is Fantasy Football basically Dungeons & Dragons for jocks?
I should win an Oscar for acting like I`m busy at work.
When you say "9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans." All I hear is "there`s a bear out there that knows how to use matches."
If she burns the bacon, she`s no good bro
Apparently, my wife has friend zoned me...
10 times out of 9, you’ll find me exaggerating about something