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You make me want to be a better class of psycho.
You know why you like me ... Cause your f*ckin crazy too!!!
Drinking lots of beer and doing my taxes. So far the Government owes me 3.1 million. I love this Country!
I stick pins and needles in the people I don`t like because can`t afford voodoo dolls.
A lot of talk from the peasants lately about my arrogance.
A lot of people are only alive because I shed too much hair to ever get away with murder.
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
If you don`t do stupid sh!t while you`re young, you`ll have nothing to talk about later in life while sitting at the bar.
Some people are too chipper early in the morning. They don`t realize how bad it is for their health.....until I`m choking them
I hate it when someone turns the light on while I`m sleeping and I`m like O_-
There were 2 muffins in a muffin shop the first 1 says "I love being a muffin!" then the 2 muffin says ``Holy crap its a talking muffin!"
I may be evil, crazy, insane and f*cking naughty but I do have some good traits, I just don`t dwell on them.
I thought "twerking" was short for "networking". I really embarrassed myself while giving that presentation to the company`s Board of Directors.
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.