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It’s annoying when Netflix keeps stopping to buffer. Stupid neighbors just won’t upgrade their WiFi.
I hate it when people beg for likes, like if you agree?
Life is not a garden so quit being a hoe
I hate when I text a girl "I love you" and she`s like "no you don`t." Like bitch, I just fapped to your profile picture, I think I`d know.
If people don`t occasionally walk away from you shaking their heads, you`re doing something wrong.
The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off
I can bench 250 lbs. And by that, I mean, I can sit myself down on a bench in a local park.
Sorry I said "What is it?" when you showed me your baby.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again: it before
Men wear the pants in the relationship but women control the zipper.
If you`re confident enough, every zoo is a petting zoo.
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.
My friend David had his ID stolen yesterday. We just call him Dav now
Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
I organized a threesome last night....there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time