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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!
Get real. No one’s going to form a single line if the building’s on FIRE.
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
Do feminists look under their beds for the boogie woman?
I was halfway through a recipe when I read the instruction "Now chill in fridge for at least two hours". I only managed 30 minutes. I was freezing.
Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
Nothing makes me more nervous than getting FB msg saying, “You’ve been tagged in a photo” after a crazy weekend.
I don`t know what I`d do without coffee...Probably twenty five to life in the state penitentiary.
Does anyone else wonder why naked and baked, 2 words that go together SO well, don`t rhyme?? ...I mean, who comes up with these words anyway? lol
Last night I was walking the sexiest girl ever home until she turned around and saw me.
The phrase "the truth shall set you free" does not apply to murder.
When I think of all the money I`ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
I snuck popcorn into the movie theatre but they won`t let me use their microwave.