Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
I suffer from paranoid-schizophrenic indifference. I really don`t care what the voices in my head are saying behind my back.
You’re probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.
Nothing says "I`m behind on child support." like 26" spinning rims on an 86 Chevy Malibu.
I dance like people wish they weren`t watching.
Bring a CD into my car that I "have to hear" and I`ll figure out a way to deploy the passenger side airbags
The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
There`s no mirrors in this self checkout?!?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "Yep, you have a person in your basement."?
If I don`t clean my house soon, someone is going to bring in blindfolded ppl for a Frebreeze commercial.
I never thought I’d be the kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise... and I was right.
Just saw a commercial for weight gainer pills. Have the people with this "problem" not heard of pizza and alcohol?
So I turned my phone onto " airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst transformer ever!
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective