Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
wonders how you can knock sense into someone when you`re beating them senseless?
If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I`d just laugh and search with them.
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,...Why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?
You can steal my status updates whenever you want, but just remember that I lick every single one before I post them...
It`s not stretching if it doesn`t involve crazy dinosaur noises.
Quiet people have the loudest minds.
Just found out that Iām 53 Cheetos tall.
Is there a way to politely throw breathe mints in someone`s mouth while they`re talking?
What`s the difference between "Ooooo" and "Ahhh"? About 3 inches.
I`m not sure it`s possible to fill a moving truck these days without the word "Tetris" being brought into the conversation.
I wonder if the Ziploc bag company secretly lobbies to keep marijuana illegal.
Progress is made by lazy people looking for an easier way to do things
Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters not in the word?
Opposites attract, that`s the trouble with being awesome
Are you still bored? Head over to Walmart, take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk, and ask where the fitting room is.