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A recent survey revealed that 4 out of 5 women think I`m an a-hole...
My Christmas tree smells like pine, and is hanging from the shift lever in my car.
My mom always said that I`d never find a man dumb enough to marry me. Well, I showed her...
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
Hey Guys! I havent seen you since last year!(;
It`s frustrating to know, I`ll never experience the exhilaration of getting to meet me.
There`s a time and a place for alcohol ... In my hand and now.
Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn`t have to end at work
Adam didn`t take any crap from Eve. He wore the plants in that relationship
Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.
Money isn`t the key to happiness ... Wait a minute, I`ll just pay to have a key made.
Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-
Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.