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I don’t hate you, I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
I’m probably single because I forgot to forward those chain messages from 2008.
There`s no time like the present to make a positive change in your life ... or to take a nice nap
Based on how many times I`ve dropped my phone, I`m gonna hold off on the whole baby thing.
If you`re not procrastinating just a little, you`re not doing Saturday right.
One of my favorite discoveries about adulthood is that there are literally no rules stopping you from eating an entire row of Oreos at once.
I’m pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
I spent 2 hours cleaning this kitchen. Mess it up and I will cut you! ... Love MOM
If u think I talk to much, just let me know. We can talk about it!
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
Tonight`s weather forecast: dark. Continued dark overnight with widely scattered of light by morning.
I wonder when people without cars pick their noses…
I don`t have a drinking problem ... I`m just really thirsty.
The hardest job in the world must be working in a bubble wrap factory. Can you imagine the self control that is required?
Don’t believe everything you think.