Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet
Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds.
“100 Calorie Packs” roughly translated means “Eat Two or Three of These”
Bend over and take it like a taxpayer.
CNN needs to reevaluate the use of Breaking News. Perhaps "Latest Speculative News" or "We Really Don`t Know Shit" would work. CNN call me.
The trouble with children is that they´re not returnable.
Coffee is just a hug for your insides.
On a scale of 1 to "Me".. how smart are you?
Billion dollar idea: A phone that charges using body fat!
Sorry I`m late. I had five cups of coffee and became convinced I could probably bend a fork with my mind, so I had to give it an honest try.
For lent I`m giving up sex, wait I`m not Catholic. Whoa, that was close
Our brain took two billion years to evolve. Two billion trips around the Sun. All so humans can use it to look at kittens on the Internet.
A synonym is a word you use when you can´t spell the word you first thought of.
If anyone knows Phillip tell him I have a bunch of his screwdrivers.
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk