Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
"Rear facing, pedal activated photon cannon" sounds much more badass than "brake lights"
Judge: I`ve decided to give your ex-wife $350/month for child support. Me: That`s very generous. I`ll try and kick in a little myself.
Happiness, is just a liquor store away.
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
No matter how loud you crank the bass, it`s still a minivan.
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
If you say "cash money" around me, Don`t act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
The queen honey bee has up to 40 sexual partners a day, just like your ex.
I don`t know about you....but I have thought about running away from home way more as an adult than I ever did as a kid.
The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but this is just gardening facts.
I`m pretty sure the phrase "sleep tight" originated in prison...
I’m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.