Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone`s house on fire. Either way, I`m prepared.
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
If we aren`t supposed to be too close to the microwave then why do they show us food twirling around in there?
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the "ABCs" in my head to remember which letter comes next.
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber were both answers on Jeopardy tonight. The end is near........
I think I just discovered Newton’s third law of Emotion: ..... "For every male action, there is an equal and opposite female overreaction."
You’ll never be as young as you are now.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
Sometimes I`ll go out in public and socialize with people, those times are called alibis.
I`ll take an ice cream sandwich please. You know what? I`m trying to be healthy, can you change that to an ice cream salad instead? Thanks
That weirdo that comes into bars and tries to sell roses would make a lot more money if he sold tacos.
SAFETY TIP: Lock your doors and windows before bed. By the way, I love what you`ve done with the place.
Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.