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There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
Just remember, If we get caught you`re deaf and I don`t speak English.
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
That must have been a heck of a party judging by the police reports.
Ask me about my ability to annoy complete strangers.
I’ve got bad news: Today is not Friday, Tomorrow is not Friday, Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
I`ll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones
Everything just seems much better when you`re in denial
Every time someone says "Have a nice day!", I yell "DON`T F**KING TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
I was halfway through a recipe when I read the instruction "Now chill in fridge for at least two hours". I only managed 30 minutes. I was freezing.
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but this is just gardening facts.
Any convenience store that requires the customer to wear pants isn’t convenient at all.