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Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
Everything you paid $50,000 to learn in college is now on the Internet for free.
No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses. Like 30 sentences three times a day.
Michael Schumacher`s former crew just visited him in the hospital. They changed the wheels on his bed and his drip in 4.4 secs.
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
Guys you should never overreact when you hear the words, " The babysitter is late."
I’m alone in my car. Counting it as a vacation.
"There`s strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.
People who walk in front of the theatre screen while you`re watching a pirated movie on your computer are so rude.
My favorite word is `apparently`. Makes anything sound sarcastic. He`s intelligent, apparently.
I`m not just living paycheck to paycheck. I`m living from paycheck to change jar to scrap aluminum to liquor store to paycheck.
I once dated a woman who thought windmills were solar powered. I`m so glad I don`t drink anymore.
Never underestimate the power of cleavage.
I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?