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Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ.
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar, because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and ... hold on, are those nuts?
Me: "I want to travel more." Bank account: "Like, to the park?"
* feels winds of change * realizes it`s just a hole in my shorts
If you`re not procrastinating just a little, you`re not doing Saturday right.
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while itβs strapped to the top of someoneβs car.
If your phone doesnΒ΄t ring itΒ΄s me.
I`d have a longer attention span if things weren`t so shiny.
is bored of being bored because being bored is boring.
I was about to do something awesome, again, but I told myself βEnough is enough, thatβs plenty of awesome for one dayβ
Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today.
It`s kind of weird that beams of electricity strike down from the sky and we`re all just okay with it.
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
If I had spoken to my parents the way some children do now, I would not be here to share this status.